Tag: dreams

Profile photo of Anita Ayela Miles to go before I sleep!!

It has been a habit with me that I do something different or something new every year on my birthday. But, somehow, this year I was pretty excited and didn’t write anything despite my husband imploring me to write my experiences of life so far! Maybe not writing anything was a new thing in itself!!

Ten days back, I woke up to the surprising wishes from all over the world! Even people who never wished me before did this year…. my school mates, my cousins, my college friends, my old colleagues, my teachers and of course, my family members too, the later a regular every year! It truly made my day to know that I was remembered by so many on an April-Fool’s Day! Actually, when you are on the wrong side of forty, the approaching footsteps of your birthday are not very welcoming! Well, all you can say in defense is that you are a more experienced person and your maturity levels are more! Not memory power and intelligence, mind you!

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Growing up in a small town which was a valley was dull but peaceful. Life was so limited to school, friends and home. Though it was a planned city with great infrastructure, there were no extracurricular activities, no art classes and no going-out-with-friends-to-eat restaurants. The only form of entertainment was the movies. So, obviously, I grew up with Amitabh Bachchan, Kamal Hasan and Chiranjeevi to say the least, and also with the only dream of parents of seeing me become an engineer…. the first girl to become an engineer in the entire family, back then! But, little did they know that my dreams were totally different!!

Experiences developed, and life progressed when I stepped out into the world and did my Bachelors and Masters in a big city atmosphere. But, frankly, I learnt about life more, when I was in a shared apartment with two other scholars while I was pursuing my PhD. Managing finances, cooking, studying, wading off the emotional developments of friends, having a gala time with girlfriends, part-time tutoring to get some pocket money, and dealing with a kleptomaniac as a roommate, taught me lessons galore. Some good memories and some bad, but the memories are intact even today!

Dreams are better as dreams, and so did my parents realize too, as I moved away from the sciences to pursue my dream of being an English professor in a non-English country! Irony of life, now I teach English to American kids! Believe me, it is the most satisfying and ego-boosting experience ever! And that too when the kids are able to accept me and my acquired American accent, it satiates the soul! Yes, I do miss teaching Shakespeare to college students like I did in India, but then, that was 18 years back….Now, when I am travelling in India, and I tell people that I teach English in America, they are awed, and that makes me smile too!

Looks like I have been writing and writing, and don’t know if anything makes sense at all! After all, who cares about someone else’s begone life these days! Life is what is today, in this moment! And the moments now are as blissful for me as they were yesterday or the day before that or years before that! Touchwood! Maybe, it is because I am a person who lives in the moment and knows how to be happy! After all, you cannot join dots of life in the future, so why fret about it! (Though, it does sound good when you read the quote in Disney world: “Here you leave today and enter the world of yesterday, tomorrow, and fantasy.” !!)

Patience with people and lines, endurance of the culture along with the alienation, and discipline of the law, all come as a package here in the US. Coming to the US has taught me a lot, made me a better person I would say! I learnt driving and experience a high when I drive at a speed on the Freeways! The cops, the speeding tickets, the accidents, the totaling of my car, all have made me more alive and kicking! I have experimented and perfected my cooking abilities so much so that now it makes me say, “I love cooking!” With love, care and discipline, I have seen the growth of my kids, glide through into the American world but keeping the culture and tastes of India as intact as possible! And, above all, the quality time spent with hubby dear and the kids here in the US is definitely more than it would have been if we were in India.

I wouldn’t be lying nor exaggerating if I said that life has been kind to me! I have a wonderful and loving husband who helps me in the house, supports my endeavors and loves me in spite of me being me. I have beautiful and sensible kids who always bring a smile to my face, and overflowing love to my heart, no matter what! And, my family back in India, who are my pillars of strength!! Everything and everyone else fall in place too! What more can I ask for!

But yes, I do want more from life! I want to become an entrepreneur or publish my book or do both! I want to enhance my credentials in a lot of different areas and maybe combine them somehow and start a business post retirement! I know, there is a saying… “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride”. But then there is another saying too… “Sometimes things become possible when you want them bad enough.”

Yes, it could be possible, maybe, in the near future… and Oh boy! What could I ever do without Frost’s inspiration!

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep

And miles to go before I sleep!